The Unseen Journey

One of the emails I get each week is from a website called My Fitness Pal.  I know, I know…. just take one look at me and you’ll understand that I only subscribe for the cool “healthy” recipes, not the yoga or exercise routines.  But today, I clicked on one of the pictures, not because I was intrigued by the Yoga position but because of something in the title that caught my eye.  This message has been rolling around in my head for the last couple of weeks and it’s been heavy on my heart for even longer. 

THE UNSEEN JOURNEY   

I love sharing the message with students about God’s relentless love for us; it is a gift that cannot be bought with our charitable deeds.  In other words, you can’t earn your way into heaven.   However, we never really say much about the alternative; that you can earn a spot in hell. Sin is a very real issue in our world.  Sin destroys lives, marriages, families, and friendships. Sin is at the core of our nature. And if left to its own devices it can take over and lead you straight down a path of destruction. The difference between the “hot spot” and heaven is salvation.  But it’s still a choice, and it’s one we need to stand by, not just put on the back shelf once we make it. Choosing Christ is a lifelong commitment.  

THEY MAKE IT LOOK SO EASY           

One of the biggest jokes at my house is the infomercial or video instructions that come with every “quick and easy” product that’s now out on the market. That chick in her dress pants grouting the bathroom floor with that “easy-peasy can of spray grout looks like she just stepped off the page of a magazine. Seriously?!  By the time I got through helping to grout the living room floor I looked like I had been drug behind a truck, could barely move my legs, and had bruised knees!  Reality is never as easy as those commercials make it look.  And neither is our lives. One of the biggest tricks of photography, besides all the filters and fixes, is that it only shows us that one moment in time. That quick snapshot of time is all we see. We don’t see all the failed moments.

With social media at the height of our communication we are more disillusioned than ever. We are instantly envious of that guy’s new truck, that girl’s perfect body, the accomplishments of so-and-so’s kid, that baseball team that just won the tournament, need I go on?  The list of “in your face – my world is perfect” posts are endless.  As all these shining moments appear before our eyes we are instantly reminded of “what we are not” and we begin comparing how their lives look on the outside to how we feel on the inside.  We don’t see the hours of practice it took that team to get it right, or the pain that young lady endures daily to keep herself in shape, or how hard that guy worked to earn the money to buy that truck, or the sleepless nights that student endured to earn those grades.  Somewhere, someone, made a sacrifice for all of those shining moments that we see staring back at us.  But we don’t see that, do we? We never see the commitment and sacrifices made. We never see the “unseen journey”.  All we see is the end result.

ITS NOT EASY AND THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

Envy is a sin.  It’s ugly.  It can be a deal breaker and a game changer. It can even provoke God-fearing people to spew venom. As quickly as the sting of that post sinks in, our boiling blood can cause us to strike out on that keyboard. One key at a time, we post a response or caddy remark that we can’t take back. Sarcastic undertones with screen shots sent to our buddies, is a back handed way to feed the beast.  But it won’t stop there. Because just like you, your friends will share or pass on your tacky remarks.  Eventually, inevitably, the victim of your “act of jealously” will find out.  It’s the devil’s way.  He’s not happy until the hurt gets spread as far and as wide as possible.  So why entertain the devil?  That sick feeling in the pit of your stomach is there for a reason, it’s your conscience telling you that “you know better”. 

Our envy doesn’t stop there. Our children must be better, prettier, smarter, more talented, blah blah blah…. They aren’t allowed to lose, fail, quit, fall short, or flunk.  They have a ridiculous schedule of lessons, practices, competitions, and over-achieving academic goals to ensure their success.  It is a never-ending battle between “doing the right thing” for our kids or getting sucked in to the “everybody is doing it” saga. In laymen terms that “keeping up with the Joneses” issue that our parents joked about, has been taken to a whole new level.

Friends, what happened to us? We started out with the Ferber method teaching our children to self soothe and cope with our absence but we have spent every moment since teaching them that they can’t live without us!   We have morphed into those “helicopter parents”.  We swoop in and save the day constantly because our kids can’t deal and can’t fail!  They cannot possibly keep up with the pace.  If the penalty for leaving a book at home is an “F” on their daily work then we quickly run the book up to the school because the “F” will affect their GPA, which in turn might affect their eligibility to play in sports, or keep them from earning that much needed scholarship, etc.  It doesn’t matter that we had to take 30 minutes off work to go get the book.  Or that little Jr. has learned nothing about responsibility because the “rescue squad” will come running.  Everything from their science fair projects to their book reports all require an insane amount of parental involvement.  Otherwise, there is no way it would get done.  Especially since these kids are taking lessons or practicing on most nights to keep up with their rigorous schedule. And lord forbid your child not participate!  Our children are not suffering from a lack of esteem or lack of love or even a lack of discipline.  But they are suffering.  They suffer from something I’ll call “Competition Syndrome”. They are competing to reach a socially acceptable mark.  But are they learning anything in the process?

LIVE AND LEARN

My parents didn’t get it and neither did theirs.  I can’t possibly imagine what the young mothers of today are dealing with.  The reality is, there will always be a social gap or learning curve due to the quickly changing world we live in.  But there are a few “never changing truths” that we can all agree on no matter what era we come from.  God is still God.  Remember that unseen journey I mentioned? Your journey will look different than mine. I won’t compare yours to mine. But somewhere in our journey we need to make sure that our commitment to Christ isn’t just a statement we make, a one-time event for show, or something we take out and dust off when its needed. Our children are watching every move we make.  If you and I can’t live up to the fruits of the spirit, how can we expect the next generation to.  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control aren’t mere suggestions of how we should act. They are the very heart of who we are as a Christian.  And our children deserve to be shown this and taught this.  Because one day you and I won’t be around to swoop in and save them, but Christ will.  

  

  

Lent Photo Challenge - Day 6 - WISE

For all of our students in the last semester of your high school or college years - this one is for you.  

Most of us seek to be educated from the time we are born, learning everything we can from those around us. At the tender age of 5 we have educational goals that are set for us and it seems to take an eternity till we finally complete 12th grade. (Shout out to our seniors of SHS ) Our secondary education (college) gives us a little more wiggle room in that we can choose where we are educated and what direction we want to go(our degree). Then finally, after all those years of being educated, you are ready to set the world on fire! 

Stepping out on your own can be exciting and scary. So I'm offering these words of advice that have been shared with me over the years. 

1. Don't forget that the best, and most important, education you received actually started at home. The example of your family and wise words that they shared came from a place of love and can offer you an education that is priceless. 

2. Knowledge is a wonderful thing to have, but it is useless if not coupled with the wisdom that only living can bring you. There will be some mistakes made, but learn from them. 

3. If you get lost somewhere along your path in life, just remember where you came from. And if you can't remember, then go home. There is no shame in hitting the reset button. 

4. Never stop learning; read, explore, try new things and above all listen. The knowledge we gain from listening to those around us is timeless and ageless. 

5. Be a good person, but don't waste precious time trying to prove it. You will have haters but their opinion is useless when you remember that you are God's treasured child. 

6. Find your people. The world is full of amazing and wonderful people, we thrive in tribes.  Alone is okay but only for a time of reflection and meditation. If you spend too much time alone you'll forget to grow.  

7. Read the Bible, pray, and worship God daily. Be careful not to get hung up on the words, dig deeper to understand the context and meaning. God is so great and merciful.  He will be your lifeline many times in your life so get to know Him!

8.  Weird is wonderful but only if you're willing to accept that not everyone will get it. (And that's okay). Don't be so easily offended. You can be you, but don't insist that everyone get it or like it. I don't get to tell you who to be, and you don't get to tell me how to feel.  It's just that simple. 

9. Complacent is the worst thing you can be. You can be pleased with what you've accomplished but humility will serve you far more than any accomplishment ever will. Sacrifice for someone else, but do it for the right reasons, not for the tax write-off or recognition. Give graciously and generously and remember your time is a gift. When they say you can't take it with you, they aren't kidding. 

10. Conflict is okay. That's how we grow. There will be times in your life when you are surrounded by conflict. The best ideas and greatest unions often come from conflict. We don't all think alike or react alike. In those situations not everyone needs to speak. Sometimes the greatest response is silence. It can speak volumes.  

"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in the fruit salad."