One of the emails I
get each week is from a website called My Fitness Pal. I know, I know…. just take one look at me and
you’ll understand that I only subscribe for the cool “healthy” recipes, not the
yoga or exercise routines. But today, I
clicked on one of the pictures, not because I was intrigued by the Yoga
position but because of something in the title that caught my eye. This message has been rolling around in my
head for the last couple of weeks and it’s been heavy on my heart for even
longer.
THE UNSEEN JOURNEY
I love sharing the message
with students about God’s relentless love for us; it is a gift that cannot be
bought with our charitable deeds. In
other words, you can’t earn your way into heaven. However, we never really say much about the
alternative; that you can earn a spot in hell. Sin is a very real issue in our
world. Sin destroys lives, marriages,
families, and friendships. Sin is at the core of our nature. And if left to its
own devices it can take over and lead you straight down a path of destruction. The
difference between the “hot spot” and heaven is salvation. But it’s still a choice, and it’s one we need
to stand by, not just put on the back shelf once we make it. Choosing Christ is
a lifelong commitment.
THEY MAKE IT LOOK SO EASY
One of the biggest jokes at
my house is the infomercial or video instructions that come with every “quick
and easy” product that’s now out on the market. That chick in her dress pants
grouting the bathroom floor with that “easy-peasy can of spray grout looks like
she just stepped off the page of a magazine. Seriously?! By the time I got through helping to grout
the living room floor I looked like I had been drug behind a truck, could
barely move my legs, and had bruised knees!
Reality is never as easy as those commercials make it look. And neither is our lives. One of the biggest
tricks of photography, besides all the filters and fixes, is that it only shows
us that one moment in time. That quick snapshot of time is all we see. We don’t
see all the failed moments.
With social media at the
height of our communication we are more disillusioned than ever. We are
instantly envious of that guy’s new truck, that girl’s perfect body, the
accomplishments of so-and-so’s kid, that baseball team that just won the
tournament, need I go on? The list of
“in your face – my world is perfect” posts are endless. As all these shining moments appear before
our eyes we are instantly reminded of “what we are not” and we begin comparing
how their lives look on the outside to how we feel on the inside. We don’t see the hours of practice it took
that team to get it right, or the pain that young lady endures daily to keep
herself in shape, or how hard that guy worked to earn the money to buy that
truck, or the sleepless nights that student endured to earn those grades. Somewhere, someone, made a sacrifice for all
of those shining moments that we see staring back at us. But we don’t see that, do we? We never see
the commitment and sacrifices made. We never see the “unseen journey”. All we see is the end result.
ITS NOT EASY AND THE STRUGGLE IS REAL
Envy is a sin. It’s ugly.
It can be a deal breaker and a game changer. It can even provoke God-fearing
people to spew venom. As quickly as the sting of that post sinks in, our
boiling blood can cause us to strike out on that keyboard. One key at a time,
we post a response or caddy remark that we can’t take back. Sarcastic
undertones with screen shots sent to our buddies, is a back handed way to feed
the beast. But it won’t stop there. Because
just like you, your friends will share or pass on your tacky remarks. Eventually, inevitably, the victim of your
“act of jealously” will find out. It’s
the devil’s way. He’s not happy until
the hurt gets spread as far and as wide as possible. So why entertain the devil? That sick feeling in the pit of your stomach
is there for a reason, it’s your conscience telling you that “you know
better”.
Our envy doesn’t stop there.
Our children must be better, prettier, smarter, more talented, blah blah blah….
They aren’t allowed to lose, fail, quit, fall short, or flunk. They have a ridiculous schedule of lessons,
practices, competitions, and over-achieving academic goals to ensure their
success. It is a never-ending battle
between “doing the right thing” for our kids or getting sucked in to the
“everybody is doing it” saga. In laymen terms that “keeping up with the
Joneses” issue that our parents joked about, has been taken to a whole new level.
Friends, what happened to
us? We started out with the Ferber method teaching our children to self soothe and
cope with our absence but we have spent every moment since teaching them that
they can’t live without us! We have morphed into those “helicopter parents”. We swoop in and save the day constantly
because our kids can’t deal and can’t fail!
They cannot possibly keep up with the pace. If the penalty for leaving a book at home is
an “F” on their daily work then we quickly run the book up to the school
because the “F” will affect their GPA, which in turn might affect their
eligibility to play in sports, or keep them from earning that much needed
scholarship, etc. It doesn’t matter that
we had to take 30 minutes off work to go get the book. Or that little Jr. has learned nothing about
responsibility because the “rescue squad” will come running. Everything from their science fair projects
to their book reports all require an insane amount of parental
involvement. Otherwise, there is no way
it would get done. Especially since
these kids are taking lessons or practicing on most nights to keep up with their
rigorous schedule. And lord forbid your child not participate! Our children are not suffering from a lack of
esteem or lack of love or even a lack of discipline. But they are suffering. They suffer from something I’ll call
“Competition Syndrome”. They are competing to reach a socially acceptable mark.
But are they learning anything in the process?
My parents didn’t get it and neither did
theirs. I can’t possibly imagine what
the young mothers of today are dealing with.
The reality is, there will always be a social gap or learning curve due
to the quickly changing world we live in.
But there are a few “never changing truths” that we can all agree on no
matter what era we come from. God is
still God. Remember that unseen journey
I mentioned? Your journey will look different than mine. I won’t compare yours
to mine. But somewhere in our journey we need to make sure that our commitment to
Christ isn’t just a statement we make, a one-time event for show, or something we
take out and dust off when its needed. Our children are watching every move we
make. If you and I can’t live up to the
fruits of the spirit, how can we expect the next generation to. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control aren’t mere suggestions of how we
should act. They are the very heart of who we are as a Christian. And our children deserve to be shown this and
taught this. Because one day you and I
won’t be around to swoop in and save them, but Christ will.
